Grieve Out Loud – Support in a Time of Loss

Wendy Warren was 24 ½ weeks pregnant with her second child when she was placed on bedrest at St. John’s Mercy Medical Center. 11 ½ weeks later, her son, Elijah, was born, but because of Potter’s Syndrome, a birth defect in which the kidneys fail to develop, the Warrens only had a few precious hours with their child before he passed away.

Each year, thousands of parents across the U.S. leave the maternity ward without a child in their arms to face a world of sadness and isolation. Yet, for individuals like Warren, they’ve also discovered a world of hope and support via the Internet.

“After Elijah was born and then shortly passed away, the women that I found online were the only ones I could turn to,” she said. “No one else in my life had any idea what I was going through.  I could share my feelings freely, and these women knew exactly how I was feeling.”

During Warren’s time at St. John’s and through her relationships on the web, a connection was made with another mother going through a similar loss. A connection that in time would help other grieving parents around the world.

A network of parents, a network of care.

Heather Mohr of Bethalto, Ill., who had also been on bedrest, met Warren in the ultrasound room at St. John’s. Said Mohr, “About a month later, someone pointed her to my blog as a similar story to hers, and we realized the connection!” Like Warren, Mohr lost her daughter, Madelyn, shortly after birth, and the two mothers relied on one another – and other parents they had met on the Internet – to help them during the most difficult times in their lives.

Throughout her pregnancy and loss, Mohr discovered resources online to give her strength, but found the number of choices overwhelming. With help from Warren and other mothers from across the nation, Mohr launched Grieve Out Loud – a comprehensive, one-stop website where parents can locate support resources, share their stories, find keepsakes and most important, speak with a family going through a similar situation thanks to the organization’s Pen-Pal program.

Said Mohr, “The Pen-Pal program is our primary focus at this time, and its main goal is to let parents know they are not alone. Losing a child is very isolating, and being able to connect with others who have been in similar shoes is a huge source of comfort.”

Mohr, Warren and 14 other mothers serve as Pen Pals, lending a helping hand and a shoulder to cry on to the thousands of families facing loss before and after birth. Recently, two dads have also joined the Pen-Pal program to offer a resource for fathers.  “While mothers often find the support they need online, fathers may not reach out in the same way,” remarked Mohr. “They face their own grief – trying to handle the grief of a loss while trying to remain strong for their spouse.”

For parents who are handling stillbirth, miscarriage or fatal genetic disorders, connecting to others through Grieve Out Loud’s Pen-Pal program is as easy as reviewing www.grieveoutloud.org and sending an email, including name, email address, mailing address and description of the loss, to the organization. The parent is then connected to a team member who has experienced a comparable situation, creating a network of support for families.

After experiencing her own loss and helping others through theirs, Warren wants parents who have lost a child to know, “You are not alone, and you will survive! This precious child will always be yours, and it’s okay to tell people about him or her.  There is no moving on, there is only moving forward.  Your life will be forever changed but you will learn how to live in your ‘new normal.’  Don’t be afraid to talk about your loss, you never know who it might positively impact and you will be surprised to find out others who have gone through something similar.”

By Nicole Plegge, Lifestyle Blogger for SmartParenting

Share This Story

Metro East mom Nicole Plegge has written for STL Parent for more than 12 years. Besides working as a freelance writer & public relations specialist, and raising two daughters and a husband, Nicole's greatest achievements are finding her misplaced car keys each day and managing to leave the house in a stain-free shirt. Her biggest regret is never being accepted to the Eastland School for Girls. Follow Nicole on Twitter @STLWriterinIL 

Our Daily Things to Do email is the easiest way to plan your day.
Follow Us
 
Things to Do

Water Waddlers Indoor Drop-In Swim

Stop in and have some fun in the indoor pool at the Lodge of Des Peres with your little one at this drop-in swim time for kids up to age 6. No pre-registration is needed; Water Waddlers is open to residents and non-residents of Des Peres.

View this event »
Animals Aglow at the Saint Louis Zoo
Wednesday, March 12, 2025
Thursday, March 13, 2025
Friday, March 14, 2025

Explore the Saint Louis Zoo in the evenings at the Chinese lantern festival Animals Aglow! Animals Aglow returns to illuminate the Saint Louis Zoo for the second year with dozens of new, towering lanterns and light displays. 

View this event »
Want daily ideas of things to do? How about special offers & giveaways? Sign up and we’ll handle the rest.
Popular Stories

Why Summer Camp is Great for . . . Parents

Being able to focus on yourself, your partner, and other people in your life who mean a lot to you is no small matter. As parents, we’re used to being responsible providers and caregivers. However, there’s so much more to a person: we’re also partners and friends. These are important parts of our identities that we need to cultivate. Sending your kids to summer camp may bring out your more playful side that you haven’t shown for a while.

Continue reading »
Want Your Kids to Learn? Teach Them It’s Okay to Make Mistakes

It’s normal for parents to want to protect their children from failure. It’s also normal to want them to achieve, win, and do their best. But here’s the truth: We don’t learn anything new without making mistakes. I’ll say it again. Making mistakes is a crucial step in learning. If we’re fearful of making mistakes, learning comes to a screeching halt.

Continue reading »
Spring Break Camps Offer a Variety of Activities for Kids and Teens in St. Louis

Excitement is building for summer and the wide variety of summer camp experiences available for kids in the St. Louis metro area. But first! Spring break is around the corner, and there are plenty of Spring Break camps enrolling now. 

Continue reading »
7 Signs Your Kids Are Ready For Their First Sleepaway Camp

It’s time to decide whether to send your kids to sleepaway camp, but how do you know that's the right thing to do? How can you tell whether your kids are ready for their first extended stay away from home? Here are 7 important signs that experts say should inform your decision.

Continue reading »
Life Lessons Learned at Overnight Camp

With the perfect blend of adventure and responsibility, camp life teaches kids valuable lessons they can use for the rest of their lives. If you send your child to overnight camp, here are some life lessons they are likely to learn.

Continue reading »
You Might Also Like...

From Our Sponsors
Follow Us